Astro-il-logical Cricket

So astrology is quite scientific, eh? This post is dedicated to all the astrology buffs, the one who believe that the stars decide your fate and everyone else's, and that Bejan Daruwalla and all others of his ilk can foretell almost everything. I picked up this data right from the website of one of India's leading astrologers, Bejan Daruwala's Ganesha speaks.

League Matches:

Match 1: Pakistan vs West Indies - Daruwalla predicted Pakistan would win. Wrong.

Match 2: Zimbabwe vs Ireland - Zimbabwe was tipped to win. Match Tied. Wrong, again.

Match 3: England vs Newzealand - England was predicted to win. Wrong.

Match 4: India vs Sri Lanka - Sri Lanka predicted to win. Correct.

The problem I have is not that he got so many wrong, but the way he went about carrying out his business of forecasting. In every single match that involved one of the minnows, the stronger team was tipped to win. So Mr. Bejan Daruwalla got it wrong every single time there was an upset. India and South Africa were supposed to beat Bangladesh, Pakistan was supposed to beat Ireland. So was Mr. Daruwala going by the stars or by the stats? How is it that when an expert like Daruwala studied the stars, they were always favouring the stronger team? How was it that the he got it wrong each single time there was an upset?

Not too dissimilar has been the case with the tarot card readers on Set Max. They have got it more wrong than right. If it's supposed to provide entertainment, that's alright - but too many people in this country get misled by these idiots, who work on a simple law of averages. If you make predictions for 5 people, chances are you will get a couple of them right - and they become your ardent devotees. Since every idiot goes to 5 such expert idiots each one of whom sings a different fore-tale and everyone can't go wrong, because there are only five possibiliites, another devotee is born, who besides devoting himself to his master, does some wonderful word-of-mouth publicity for his guru. The Guru who has the best mix of glib and percentage success becomes a Maha-Guru !!

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Consider this gem:

Considering the planetary positions on the match day and their effects on match playing countries and their players Ganesha feels that in this round 8 teams that qualify for the next round would be Australia, Sri Lanka, South Africa, India, Pakistan, Newzealand, West Indies and England.

I don't know much of astrology but do know a bit of astronomy and geography. Tell me, what kind of an alignment of the stars would suit India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka but not Bangladesh. Suits England, but neither Scotland nor Ireland. And suits the whole gamut of islands that form the Caribbean :) :) :) Next time round, Mr. Daruwalla, do pick up your basic geography text book or the atlas as well before you go about predicting everything that's going to happen, everywhere.

Australia vs Sri Lanka: Detailed Forecast

Here goes my next round of predictions, as the Cricket World Cup jamboree reaches its final phase:

April 16: Australia vs Sri Lanka, Grenada

Mahela calls it right, and elects to bat. (enough people have told him by now that it's the only way to beat Australia, so he just ignores the damn pitch and everything...)

Jayasuriya is dropped on the very first ball of the match. Ranjit Fernando tells everyone who are watching Set Max a brand new thing: 'this may be a very costly mistake.' (do non Set-Max watchers also have to bear Fernando?). Jayasuriya plays the same shot again on the very next ball, and the same fielder makes the same mistake again. Ponting can't believe that Hussey has dropped dangerman Jayasuriya twice in two balls and our man in the commentary box gets more excited. "This is surely going to be a costly mistake." Jayasuriya gets more excited, the bowler bowls a similar length again but the batsman is cautious this time - he plays a defensive shot, and there is no need for Hussey to hold or drop a catch. The ball hits the inside edge of the bat, and deflects to the stumps. Fernando is quiet.

Tharanga plays the innings of his life, and Jayawardene plays his best innings in the last year. Chamara Silva and Vaas chip in with quick 30's as Lanka post an imposing 312. Mandira Bedi is very happy - she looks nice n chirpy in her yellow n brown Satya Paul sari. ( the sari has large motifs of a lion holding a knife or something in its paws. Satya Paul is going crazier.) Ian Chappell bears the brunt of her chirpiness as Mandira is sure that the Aussies are surely going to lose the match now, and she wants Ian to say that and provide some logic to that end. Chappell thinks that Hayden and Ponting hold the key, but Mandira doesn't like that comment so he quickly adds that Murali and Vaas are the keys too.

Well, Ian was right. Ponting and Hayden were the important guys indeed. Both scored fine centuries, and the score stood at 235/4 at the end of over no.40. Mahela had delayed taking his final power play and he had taken the last one only at the end of the 36th over. Play is held as there ensues a serious conference on the field between the Lankan top guns. The captain throws the ball to Murali, who has just an over left. Gamble.

And how it pays. Magician Murali snares two wickets off his penultimate balls, and Lanka is strong favourties now. Just 4 wickets left and an asking rate of 8.5. It's too much, even for the Aussies, as they finally capitulate, bringing an end to their defeatless streak since 1999.

to be continued